These Eyes Are Watching
by Carolare Scarletus
Summary: After all these years, Theodore Nott ponders a time that could have made all the difference. Written for 'Weekly Challenge - #8, Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry' #5; Easy


**Written for 'Weekly Challenge - #8, Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry' #5; Easy**

 **Author's Note:** I hope y'all enjoy this! This is nothing like my usual work, so I took a gamble. :)

 _As always, enjoy_

 _-Carolare Scarletus_

* * *

I could see the struggle in the unbounded wind. Even separated by the crowds, I could see. The way your eyes darted about as you desperately tried to hide your secret from the world. I could practically taste the desperation, the aptitude of difficulty to keep your nerve from literally killing you. You tried so hard to keep it from everyone; and, I suppose you won. However, you didn't think of me when I found out.

"I hate that it had to come to this," I told Draco. We were staring out at the distance. The Astronomy tower, a pleasant oasis for anyone who wanted to escape, was a lovely distraction. I breathed out, and glanced at him but he didn't look my way. "You really have to go through with it, don't you?"

"You don't know what he's capable of, Nott."

My brows furrow together and a knot of anger twists inside of me.

It was a daring thing to say.

Of course, I knew what the Dark Lord was capable of; I lived it every day. The mere pressure to conform, to press judgement upon others who couldn't do it to me. I knew it perfectly well.

"You aren't the only one who has everything to lose, Malfoy." I tell him, gripping the rails until my knuckles were white. I can feel the blood rush in my ears. Anger was unbecoming of me. Again, I looked at him, hoping he'd provide me the comfort _I_ needed. But, he doesn't. He only stares into the distant as the unsettling bought of silence wedged a wall between us.

I grow scared of the outcome.

Who knew that the Malfoys could sink so low? To desert even their _friends_ in this time of need was enlightening. I could see now the true face of the monster underneath that stoic guise. I didn't know betrayal of any kind until I saw it in his eyes.

"I have to do this, Nott. If I don't…" He trails off, but I'm so used to the bit that I can almost recite the exact words that he would've said.

 _He'll kill my family._

But, you forgot _I_ was your family, too.

Draco seemed to care more about himself than his friends. We were the ones to stand by him through thick and thin, and to see his true nature in the face of the light was heartbreaking.

I look out toward the Black Lake and let out a sigh that poorly represented my inner turmoil. A rush of confliction emotions riled up inside of me.

Then, I suggest something that could have ultimately changed both our lives.

"We could run away, you know." I tell him, looking out in the distance. "Run away and never look back."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Hope and shock manifested themselves in his words. For a second, I was fooled into believing he'd agree. Then, he pushed himself away from the railing and walked toward the entrance to the tower.

I watched his retreating form for some time until the realization dawned on me. He had chosen his side, and I had chosen mine.

It was hard to change someone who didn't want to be changed. It was harder to watch someone struggling with their greater sensibilities as the world was set aflame and everything that they loved and cherished was taken from them. I lost my mother in the blaze of the war. Even if I managed to save myself, the thought of knowing I could have saved Draco was all too much to accept.

After all this time, I came back to this same spot. I looked out toward the horizon and every year I asked myself the same question.

Could things have been different if he had tried? If so, would I have been the same?

These questions haunt me to this very day. Like harpies, I watch as they fly around in a hazardous pattern.

I look out in the distance and I can't help wondering again if I had done the right thing because these eyes are always watching.

-Fin-


End file.
